


In which Wade is thicc and Peter is week

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel
Genre: Bottom Wade, M/M, Smut, Top Peter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2021-04-15
Packaged: 2021-04-20 21:01:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22006180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Peter gets horny and that’s it enjoy.
Relationships: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 14
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

Peter looked at Wade’s phat buttocks and was like yea imma hit that and he did and Wade was like nani but he enjoyed it so they got married and adopted an emu which they then had to kill in order to survive the 2nd ice age which caused a rift in the relationship but then they made up after listening to sax and having sex which went something like this:  
Peter grabbed both of Wade’s moobs in his hands in a hard manner, he had always been a tits man while Wade has always been an ass man, they complimented each other like that.  
“Oh Peter-sama” said Wade gripping Peter’s wrists in an effort to halt the assault on his  
G L O R I O U S P E C S  
“Be gentle this only my 69th time with a man I’m not as experienced as you 甘いもの“ Wade gasped out in an impressively long breath.  
“Heh” said Peter as he then teleported his Parker peepee into Wades guts.  
“AGHHH my EABS” said Wade   
Then they did it so hard their kokoro novels exploded and it was neat and they’re still going strong after 20 years the end.


	2. The indecent decent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The relationship devolved...but also increased ten fold

The wind was crisp in the Autumn atmosphere, frogs chirped through the night as we enter the scene of our happy couple, now retired and 50% more wrinkly.

“Peter Sama”  
“Yes はちみつ?”  
Wade Kun took a moment to breath in oxygen.  
“You are my treasured wrinkled prune”  
Peter laughed in the way that is endearing.  
“Why thank you mr pizza man”  
Wade’s mouth muscles arched upward.

...

“You know this isn’t the end right?  
Just cause I won’t be here doesn’t mean you weren’t loved, doesn’t mean I didn’t love you.” Said Peter in an odd tone”. 

“No I don’t think I knew that” Wade said not meeting his eyes. 

“We’ll now you do and you better write it down cause we’ve run out of water and I’m about to die for dehydration” Said Peter barely hanging on to life. 

“Bro just drink your webs you know I do *wink wonk*”. 

Peter is dead 

Wade went into a great mourning over his loss but still remembered those words Peter told him so thoroughly not to forget...”pizza time”.

And then he went nuts, full on cashew mode and him and his matrix son travelled back in time and turn each other into tardigrades so neither can ever die which was actually a curse since they divorced cause in Peter’s words-

“WHAT THE FIDDLESTICKS WADE IM A LITTLE PARTICLE PIG”

“I’d eat your bacon tho EHeee”

“God I hate you and your tenuous brain”

And so they stayed together till the end of time in the vacuum of space with the ghost of that emu they ate that one time.

The end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Less time can sometimes be a blessing   
Also I regret nothing and I had too much fun with this.

**Author's Note:**

> Ha


End file.
